SPINNING ME STUPID

fuck you hero!

I'm supposed to give it all up
for just one moment in your arms

the hero
the man
the next che
the next ghandi
the next who ever the fuck you might be

the next hero
of all our dreams
COME TO SAVE US FROM OUR PATHETIC REALITIES

charismatic
with a touch so soft
a smile so warm

able to work 16 hours a day
six days a week
and still make love like a god

Fuck you hero

I'm supposed to
level myself

prostrate
at your feet
worship you

do me do me
DO ME

next....

fuck you hero

hero worship
I was never into it
did my stint following in mothers steps
a momentary groupie

devastated by fame
living for proximity
to tell me
I'm someone

FUCK YOU HERO

I'm the hero
I'm the hero of my dreams

I'm the hero
up on the horse
facing the foe
that ruins us all

I'm the hero
on my horse
riding with yall

all you men
of myth and fame
all your words and glory
the struggle of all your story

MEN
I've been taught to put above me

on ur horses
singing the charge
counting cou

while women wait at home
with kids and gruel
picking berries
warming sherrry
for the home coming

putting their dreams and talents on hold
supporting you in your endeavor

mrs pollack did she have any other name
and all the others
did they ever exist
shadows in your flame

you with your words and thoughts
and deeds
her pregnant with your seed
waiting by the fire for your return

keeping the money straight and coming in
to fuel your battles and performances

shit on that
what about MY PERFORMANCES

sit your ass down
and support me

gimme, gimme, gimme
your blood and future
so I can go forth and slay golliah, america, godzilla

and make me the hero

so, I can
run the miles
to keep in shape
build the muslces
to kick ass
have the time
to think the thoughts
that change the world

hey, man
you carry the fucking baby
stroke its head to sooth it's crying
as I leave it and you
one more time again
to pursue the challenge

you
do the laundry
clean the cobwebs
warm the bed
for my heroic return

you
spend all your time
and creative energy
chasing the kids around the house
making peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches
for their lunch
feeding the dog

YOU DO IT

you be humble
and thorough
you be humble and homely

as pretty women line up
to touch my hero's hand
to glean just a little light
of my rage and fury

as pretty women
offer themselves as trophies
and delicacies
to tempt my pallat
stroke my hero's vanity

rewards
to gorge in
to peak
the peak
of blood shed
frenzy
to release me

back to exhausted and
normal

a day with the kids
sensitive sex with the wife
who has
of course
remained
celibate, mother mary and matyr
longing for my touch
my return
my success
while I've been so, so long away

always looking to me
with those eyes
filled with
devotion and
gratitude

calling me on my shit
for this I respect HER

she knows me
and I can count on her honesty and
care taking

my risk making
every hero needs
a home to come home to

every hero.....................
.needs
his unsung
MARTHA

FUCK THAT

fuck you hero

get that fucking kid
up off me
and the fucking laundry

I want to be the one to play
the one to fight
the one to bleed
the one with light
to give
to the lines of waiting devas
whose only desire is the touch of my hand
the brush of my lips
on their cheeks

and

FUCK me
all stupid and star struck
all stank with hero worhship

girl,
fuck me
ain't nothing real about it

the attraction
all confused
all messy
and fan based

I don't see clearly
the one before me
its all
tossed with massage oils of glory
no real story

I don't live with the bastard
like you do
put up with his shit
like you do
clean his fucking toilets

listen for god knows how many times this makes
to his
rants and rants and rants
and raves

I don't put up with the shit
you do

girl,
what I think I'm feeling
ain't none of this real

I haven't seen him like you do
all hung over and stinking of bile
curdled and sick on the bathroom floor
odorous with another woman's pussy
and lies to cover

and fuck that!!,
you can have it!!

I haven't seen him like you do
haven't had to live the role you choose

and he hasn't seen me
IN THE MORNING
my hair sticking straight up
my brows unplucked
looking all scarecrow and frantic

girl,
it ain't real
its all from the audience
all from beneath the glorified stage
looking up to see something
bigger, BETTER

than me...

illusion
I don't know him

MR. HERO

I'm just here
star struck and stupid
some teenager waving her panties high over her head
waiting by the stage door
sucking the bouncer's dick
just to get in
and be able to suck hero's dick

give him that quick boost
of power
to see it in his eyes
when he comes
to pretend its mine
for one moment
one second

that's all he'll give
for the reassurance he gets
for the suck on his egodick

notice me, notice me
lil fuck that I am

fuck me silly........
then what

SHIT!
fuck me, girl
I'm full of shit

ain't nothing real about this

and...
fuck you hero,
fuck you!!!!

fuck me with all my dillusions
fantasies and pathetic teenage infatuations
bought and sold by the hype
the package
the shine

fuck that!!!!
fuck the hero worship
all sides of it
women dripping everywhere
home and abroad!!!!!

I'm the hero

I'M THE FUCKING HERO
THE HERO OF MY FUCKING HERO WORSHIPPING DREAMS

let me sling MY panties up on the stage
of my own performance
get my own goddamned attention
and HAVE SOME OF THAT FAME BRUSH OFF ON ME

to make me more than I feel I am

let me
be my own fucking groupie bitch
sucking on my own hero's dick

repeating insatiably
anything, anything!
to be with you hero
for just one moment
just one second

proximity fascination hallucination

let me apologize to my own wife
sitting faithfully, dutifully, guiltily at home
let me say to her...
sorry, girl
I don't live with hero's shit
clean hero's toilets...wipe hero's dick

so sorry.....................to over on what's yours
in reality

IN REALTY
it's a role I don't want
a play I don't seek
from any side

and fuck this sense of powerlessness
that motors it
this helplessness
that makes me need a fucking hero, anyway

fuck my humaness
my goddamned vulnerability

fuck the need
the need to be
a hero

#2
Hero, HERO!!!!
people need heros
heros
to look up to
to stand up and be brave for them
to be an example
to be more than they can be
to manifest what they could never

to go through the pain
and come out unscathed

survivors
to save them from the inevitable

to come back from the dead
with just a quick shot of adrenaline

human flaws and weaknesses transcended

super heros, Jack Bauer's
healing from life taking wounds
in a second

and we need real life hero's
real people to lead us

gomez-pena's making songs of our fears
voicing what we could never find sounds to
making sense of what haunts and elludes us

leyba's, confronting taboos
BOOOOO!!!!!
and miasma's of flesh hysterias

coyotes in the sheep's flesh
human's confronting humans

real hero's
but, none the less
bigger than life
bigger than real
bigger than you
bigger than me

and buffoon heros
like the Tick
all stumbling bumbling
unphased unscathed
innocent, ignorance
wise and foolish
all dumb luck
inhuman luck

that's me
in this fucking hero worship delerium
dumb and where's the luck in it

a woman
vulnerable
trying to find the courage
to stand here
to sustain your gaze
for one instance

and not run screaming
in shame
of my helplessness

related to you, what you do
or don't

related to my powerlessness
in this world
the immensity of it
this life

a small creature in the vastness

ready to bolt
naked
unprotected

bared
waitng for cruxifiction

a human being

standing here
not running screaming inside or out

standing here
biting her lip
bleeding

standing here
not being something else

standing here
exposed

standing here
naked in surrender

trying to connect
with another
human-being

through the haze
the maze

the overwhelming need to be
a super hero, in a suit

so no one will see
the real me

especially not you

#3
to be a hero
is to be
simply honest
real
flawed

to stand it

to suffer, struggle

feel

and not deny it

this takes a hero's courage

all human's are hero's
simply to live through a day
one day to the next

in denial and faith

accidentally finding
strength
a moment of courage

to face themselves
in the immensity
that confronts them

each moment

#4
to my cat

who I rescued from the streets
at four weeks

I'm a hero

she suckles the blanket in my lap
confident of this


Posted and written by:
Coy @
Decoy.com

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