Pop, I am not alone.

Pop

Mom asked me to slow down today when I scrolled down
the pictures of myspace.
There I was on stage at an event and dressed up
looking like you.
She said, "oooh. I thought that was your father."
I felt your presence in that moment, but I wish I saw you too.
I thought about you for a while now and still
I cannot get you out of my veins.
I am here without my best friend, my
confidant.
Who can I talk to that already knows what I'm
about to say?
Who can I go fishing with or camping with...
myself.
I found myself on stage when I couldn't bare the pains.
I found myself alone when you told me you were getting worse.
I found myself dropping everything to spend time with you.
The time doing the 'Berkeley Bowl' dance in between customers and
in between lines.
Excuse me, pardon me, did you see that Pop?
No more laughter out loud and feeling like a little boy
with you.
When you would call me Son I felt my place...
I felt like I belonged to someone and something bigger than I.
I now belong to me.
I belong to mom, but...
she's here and I am here and I call her when I miss her voice
or her sentiments.
She sees us when she sees me.
I am your image and I am my own.
I am.
I am wondering sometimes if that is really you I feel when I am
alone.
Can I really talk to you?
I do.
I found myself in your image on stage through a picture today
when mom said, "Stop, go back! You even dress like your...
Daddy, I miss you.
I am not alone in that feeling or thought.
I am not alone.
Pop, I am not alone.